What can I say about My Family Tree, except: My Family Tree…seems to be doing just fine—without me.
I hardly ever see them, and I rarely ever call
Perhaps—as my time draws near—no one will take notice, when my branch falls.
Maybe, I’m blinded—by my past wounds—their ill spoken words…
Maybe, my ears are still stinging, because of the gossip about me, that they never should have heard…
Many people say, that blood is thicker than water—that’s easy to say, when you are not the lamb that’s being led to the slaughter!
As far as I’m concerned: My Family Tree…seems to be doing just fine—without me.
There’s not a day that goes by—when they are not in my thoughts;
But I’m still bleeding from my inner wounds—from all the battles I’ve fought.
I feel ashamed and rejected: when others compare stories about their close-knit kin.
“My family was never like that—” I say, with an uneasy grin.
All I have is broken promises and dilapidated dreams—of how we would be so close….
—Once and for all…
The family I always wanted—is not to be—it seems…
We would stick by each other’s side—through thick and thin…
—But that’s where my dream ends…
Instead, I’ve only been allowed to see: their envy filled eyes, as their jealousy is made known to me…!
They come by my house to inspect my wares! They give empty compliments, pretending all the while to care….
—But I know—deep-down-inside; if, it was up to them—they’d love to see me loose it all—and wouldn’t feel sorry just a little bit, as they smiled at my downfall!
I have cousins that I barely even know—aunts and uncles that have sunk so low…
Maybe I’m the bad guy, and I just can’t see…but as far as I’m concerned: My Family Tree…seems to be doing just fine—without me.
They say, there’s no place like home…” That saying means something else to others—but it makes my heart burn! —and if—Yah is merciful, He’ll never make me return!
I can’t control—how my so-called-family feels about me—and—I can’t do anything about all their unfulfilled dreams…
How can I—when they won’t even listen to me?
I just want to know—why they treat me the way they do—and why they hate me—because I’ve learned to succeed?
I could have sworn that the twins box on my birth certificate had never been scratched….,
So why is it—that—they want me to be just like them—and when I refuse—it’s me that feels the impact?
Why is it—that—my elder family members—are always telling me the wrong things to do?
I no longer need their approval!
I’ve given up on that pipe dream!
I can’t understand, why they can’t just let me be—the best me—I can be!
And, as far as I’m concerned: My Family Tree…seems to be doing just fine—without me.
But, just when I think, I’m done ranting and raving; Yah’s answer comes clearly to me:
My son, I never promised you that this walk would be easy…
I never said that— they would listen, or even try to understand!
My words were meant for you—because, you have learned: that you are supposed to do whatever I tell you—no matter what they do…
It is I—that have nurtured your family’s seed, and there can be no happy ending without me!
I understand that you’re hurting—and angry.
But it’s not for you to judge…
I’ve only given you the tools that you needed to see —it’s not about what you haven’t been given, or how—they never meet your needs…
It’s all about: how your family tree can never grow or be healed without Me!
So when your anger rises, stop paying attention to what you see…
For when I sent my word with you, your family wasn’t rejecting you—they were rejecting Me.
It’s not for you to judge: what should or shouldn’t be—but—for you simply to obey my word…
Let me worry about what’s right—for it was Me—that planted the seed of your Family Tree.